RUDE AWAKENING: She’s in charge of the clean-up crew — the crew that cleans up the mess made by the boss. When she gets started, it’s a good idea to stay out of the way. In fact, stay out of her shouting distance because she also has the loudest voice in the office — and beware, she’s not afraid to use it. Even at 4 in the morning she can maintain a high-decibel pitch as she struggles to haul the magazine’s pages past the finish line on those long, long production nights. Her team doesn’t really resent that — her voice is the only thing that keeps them awake as they wait for the triumvirate to finish messing with the pages. Then the real work begins. Detail-oriented and fair-minded, she sticks up for her team and frequently spars verbally with the Black Prince.
Designation: Chief Copy Editor
NOT BY DESIGN: He’s is head of the design team at Bull. Has learned to cope with late work night stress by making sometimes brutal but always spot-on sardonic comments while dealing with the antics of the triumvirate, who, between them, are incapable of distinguishing between Prussian blue and Persian blue. Generally fearless, he can look the boss straight in the eye and tell her that she’s not wearing any clothes … in a metaphorical sense. Like the little boy in the children’s tale entitled’ The Emperor’s new clothes?” he tells the truth as he sees it. Sadly, the boss doesn’t understand metaphors. By all accounts (his, mostly), she doesn’t understand good magazine design either. Claims he joined the company by accident, swears it was an email mistake. An application meant for Vogue took a wrong turn on the internet superhighway and reached the Bull editor’s inbox. Has vowed never to use email for job applications again.
Designation: Head of Design
CONSPIRACY KING: He’s the snitch in the pack. Likes to think of himself as a communications expert. Favorite hobby: eavesdropping. Standout behavioral trait: tags his own conspiracy theory to anything he hears. When it comes to office gossip, he has his hands all over the grapevine although, to be honest, he’d prefer getting his hands all over anything in a skirt. Like fire, he has his uses but can be dangerous if not handled correctly. Not exactly a conscientious worker, but then, if you have so much juice to squeeze from the local gossip vine, where’s the time for writing?
Designation: Senior correspondent
HAPLESS IN HADES: These are the newbies. Their first job and what do they get? The deep, dark and sinister underworld of planet journalism. Like the Greek underworld Hades, it’s a place that reeks of death and destruction. Only in this case, of reporting dreams. Bullied by pretty much everyone around, they’re expected to follow orders, but rarely given any direction. They have personalities but no one really cares. They exist only to do their team leader’s bidding: they might as well be assigned serial numbers. They endure extraordinarily long work nights, a complete lack of weekends and social life, as well as never-ending queries on submitted stories, all in the name of “work experience.” All they want is out. Will someone ever hear their silent cries?
Designation: Reporter
HOTPANTS: Every office has a hottie. Thank goodness for that! With her plunging necklines, short skirts and tight T-shirts, she provides welcome and instant relief to the normally weary and eye-strained staff. Not particularly brainy, she is, nevertheless, quite friendly — and flexible. A yoga devotee, she always manages to highlight her body’s dexterity to incredible advantage. Strictly speaking, she’s not part of the editorial team. She’s the office receptionist. Her genial, sympathetic nature attracts people to confide in her. She could probably make a fortune by blackmailing the co-workers who spilled their darkest secrets –and a lot more — to her, but all she dreams about is spending her life on a remote, white sandy beach, sipping chamomile tea and doing energetic yoga workouts with her unbelievably fit instructor. In her case, it’s not about money, honey.
Designation: Receptionist
Well, there you have it….my entire drama troupe… Watch out for the first story they will be presenting in a few days…. I promise you, it will be a story unlike any you’ve heard before. Find out how chaos reigns supreme as Bull’s not-so-enthusiastic team get started on the magazine’s debut issue.
Bye for now!